Roger Zee Memoirs

"Life and Times of a Pandemic Musician"

Driving Anxiety 06/09/20

So in my memoirs today,"Life and Times of a Pandemic Musician," I reveal why no one ever wants to get in a car with me, especially when I'm driving, LOL!

It all started in the summer of 1975. I just graduated Brandeis University and moved into a shared rental house in Waltham, MA with some school mates. Found myself adrift, clueless, with no idea of what to do with my life. Came out with a degree in animal psychology and never even owned a pet -- 'cause my mom found them too messy and didn't wanted to clean up after one. Oh the absurdity of it all!

On top of that, the country sank into the first major recession since the end of World War II! No jobs available for us new graduates. Finally found work in a factory making "Hello my name is '*****'" badges. When I couldn't take it anymore, I moved on to a desk job at a large marketing firm where I made unsolicited phone calls to computer centers asking them for an inventory of their mainframe hardware. Other than playing in a local Worcester band named Ravin' (see pic in the comments), not a very good time in my life.

Although, come to think of it, I did meet a beautiful young, petite, Chinese woman, Li, at a party and we began hanging out. But even this came with a catch. She told me right up front that she had a serious boyfriend named, of all things, Roger! But since we shared the same name, Li thought she could see me on the side and wouldn't get caught even if she shouted out my name in the throes of passion, LOL. With nothing else going on, I said, "Fine, let's do it!"

Li and I spend some good times hanging out on the beach at Walden Pond. I will never forget one particularly humid, steamy hot evening making love for hours in the attic of my house with the sweat pouring off our bodies. The relationship petered out when I began to lose interest and the other Roger proposed to her. Good luck with that!

But I digress. When I could no longer stand the telephone soliciting job, I started driving a cab late afternoons and evenings. It mainly consisted of picking up factory workers from the bars they drank at after work and taking them home. I also maintained a few steady customers who required weekly visits to their doctors. Those proved very lucrative but at my tender age, I had not yet learned the Fine Art of making conversation with elderly ladies. So I lost a couple of my regulars.

Then the catastrophic event that forever changed my life! On July 4th, dispatch sent me to a bar for a pickup and when I arrived, the totally inebriated, incoherent fare could not even explain to me where he lived. He mentioned a street that I never heard of. So I called the office and they said head to the town square and as you get closer, call us back.

Let me proclaim now and forever that I suck at driving! I inherited my mother's poor driving skills along with her total lack of a sense of direction -- which I ultimately ended up passing along to my daughter, LOL! My son got my dad's great driving and navigation skills.

Wait for it! As we get close to the town square, traffic slows down to a dead halt. The drunk in the back seat starts babbling incoherently. All of a sudden, we hear an explosion right above our vehicle. And then another. The passenger starts screaming and I break into a cold sweat. The 4th of July fireworks began directly over our heads.

We remained trapped in the cab for what felt like forever. Sounded like I picture the Nazi aerial bombing of London in WWII. It finally died down after a half an hour. Traffic slowly resumed, but the passenger still could not explain to me where to take him and neither could dispatch. I totally freaked! Waves of unrelenting panic washed over my body as the fare kept screaming at me. I froze up completely!

Somehow, I made it back to the saloon and got the bartender to give me directions. Mission finally accomplished -- but with immense, collateral damage. The dispatcher started giving me less and less work. My already poor driving skills deteriorated even further as the naked fear of getting lost gripped me tighter every time I entered a car. That remains so to this very day!

I suffered an intense, emotional breakdown and now hate to drive. Don't even like to ride as a passenger because once I get even the slightest feeling of being lost, sheer terror makes me scream, shout, and hit the car door.

So no happy ending here... Last year I barely survived a driving accident that set off the airbag. Totaled my car and left the steering wheel pinned to my chest. Fortunately I managed to pry the door open and walk away virtually unscathed. The other car endured only a tiny scratch on its rear bumper!

It took me almost two months to work out the insurance and purchase a used car. Not a lot of fun isolated without a vehicle, but in hindsight, not nearly as bad as what we're going through now. So on this gorgeous. Covid-19 lockdown day on which I had to turn down a lovely invitation to kayak with friends, I spend my time learning the bass parts to the classic Eagles "One of These Nghts" album -- the title song which played on the cab AM radio that fateful July 4th 1975 evening. One <3

YouTube - One of These Nights - The Eagles